They should bottle this stuff

Yesterday we took Lucas out for his maiden voyage - a trip aboard our family's pontoon boat. He was very willing to let us put on his straitjacket, I mean life jacket. His cheeks were pushed up so high that I still don't know how he was able to see. That kid has some cheeks! He sat on my lap at the table and banged away happily (his new favorite pastime). If I weren't such a horrible mother who constantly forgets the camera I would post some pictures for a nice visual.

We headed out of our bay at a nice slow pace and Lucas' banging started to slow down. His eyes glossed over and he stared at his grandmother as if she wasn't even there. I sat back and let him collapse like a lump of clay into my arms. At last, my baby boy was actually cuddling with me! He lay in my arms with his eyes half mast for the next several minutes, in a complete trance. Eventually he fell asleep and didn't budge until we were back on the dock and taking off his life jacket.

It may take the rocking of a boat and the fumes of an engine but damn it, that boy will still cuddle with his mama! Do you think it will work for years to come?

Oprah during business hours

This afternoon I was able to sneak out of the office and "work from home". I am doing some R&D for a product of ours that involves testing the care instructions. What better way to make sure that a sheet can really be washed in warm than by washing it my own machine? I should have thrown in some poopy baby clothes to make the test really authentic.

As I am sitting on the couch working away (thank the lord for wireless internet) the TV starts to beckon - LOUDLY. I look at my watch...hmmm 4 o'clock, isn't that when Oprah is on? Holy cow I can watch Oprah! I excitedly turn the TV on thinking that I can easily work while an episode of America's favorite daytime show plays quietly in the background. The preview starts to play, I hear her voice, then WHAMO! it's a rerun. I saw this episode during the winter while I was home on maternity leave. How can that be? The one time I can actually watch the show it's a freakin rerun?

So here I sit, no TV on, just the sound of the rain and the neighbors' kids playing outside while I work - quite productively I might add.

The Morning Rush

Why oh why can I not get myself out the door by 7:40 every day? I am usually ready by 7 and then have 40 minutes to dress and feed the baby. 40 minutes! I should be able to put him in at least 5 different outfits and feed him until he is overflowing in that amount of time. For some reason I find some mundane task that has turned critical overnight and insist on getting it done. Does the laundry really need to be started? No! Does the dishwasher need to be emptied or loaded? No! But I obsess about these tasks until I have rushed myself into a tizzy. And by the time I get home in the afternoon those damn dirty dish trolls have visited once again and the sink is full. I need to set out some troll traps so I can capture those little bastards and send them to our neighbors house.

When I arrive at work I no longer make my cheerful entry full of greetings to all of my colleagues. I now sneak in and scurry to my desk as quickly as possible, hoping to god that nobody sees me or dares to acknowledge my presence. It isn't until after I have turned on my computer and messed up my desk a bit that I will start speaking to anyone. I recently read a tip about how to make it look like you arrived at work early - leave your computer on overnight. I am going to have to try that except our office is so small that nobody is going to buy it. If they don't see my car in the lot right outside of the door then I am obviously not there. And they all know for damn sure that I didn't arrive early enough to have already left!

Funny thing about being late all the time - I am never late leaving work (thanks to daycare), only arriving.

Why do I work?

I am trying to remember when it all began. When did I receive my first question about staying at home or going back to work? As I think back to each milestone: maternity leave, pregnancy, wedding I think that it actually precedes all of these. I was probably first asked before I even finished college. Granted it was one of those late night conversations with the roommates about who was going to get married first and how many kids we would have but it was my first foray into the eternal discussion about staying at home versus working.

It didn't start to become clear to me until I got pregnant. That is when the reality set in that I was going to have a baby and suddenly had absolutely no idea how to take care of one. That is also when I realized that in this stage of our lives we are in no position to do it on one income. Pride causes me to sugar coat it and say that I love my job and that my son loves daycare (both of which are true) but the cold hard fact is that we would be homeless and hungry if I didn't bring in a paycheck too. Not to mention the fact that if I weren't busy earning money four days a week you could be damn sure that I would be busy spending it! I do enough damage in the evenings and weekends as it is.

Since I do have to work I have come to insist on a few comforts. I don't want to hear any crap from my husband when I spend money. Yes, all jeans these days DO cost $150. And I definitely NEEDED a new pair of shoes. I do my part by shopping the sale racks which, by the way, does constitute an emergency and I am therefore allowed to use the credit card. We have also recently hired someone to clean the house - I think that I have died and gone to heaven.

Would I give any of these things up to stay at home with my son? I don't know. My schedule is working out for our family and man do I love those three days at home with him!